Soldier's Last Stand
by Crimson Banner
Summary: As a RED Soldier makes his last move, he is forced into Equestria. Now he must find a way back, or does he want to? MAGGOTS! Under some progress at the moment, so chapters will be random. My story is now back!
1. C'mere Sweetheart

The Soldier ran through the midst of the raining rockets and bullets that were showering his surroundings. He panted for breath as he had been running through the entire map, killing and dodging enemies. His helmet-covered eyes examined the ravaged battlefield in front of him.

To his right, Medic was dragging a dying Heavy whilst firing his Syringe Gun at the massive horde of BLU attackers. He had a distressed look on his face as he spoke comforting words to the Heavy but Soldier couldn't hear. Medic was being shot at repeatedly but continued to drag his comrade back to the base.

To his left, Spy was backstabbing a Sniper but was having a hard time fighting off a BLU Scout. He had a determined face that seemed to accept his inevitable deayh, but he continued to fight the closing enemies that were surrounding him.

At a slight turn to the right, Sniper was shooting at a horde of BLU attackers with his incredible accuracy. But he was too, like the Medic, taking constant bullet fire, Soldier could actually seethe bullets ripping into the Sniper's flesh, how he had the strength to continue Soldier had no idea.

As he shifted his gaze, he saw the Scout on the floor, his head raised slightly as he was firing the last remaining bullets in his pistol. Soldier knew that Scout was too young for this, it got to him how a young boy could withstand this.

Soldier looked left again, this time seeing Demoman bashing a BLU Soldier's head in with his Scrumpy bottle. Demoman was a drunk man but he seemed to be fully aware that he will die. Soldier began to feel ill, why did the Administrator turn off respawning?

The RED team mercenary glanced right, Engineer was whacking a BLU Spy across the face with his wrench, blood flew out violently as Engineer desperately tried to fix his worn out Sentry, which was trying it's hardest to fend off the invading BLU attackers.

Near the Engineer, Pyro was igniting the enemies with his Flamethrower, bullets and rockets were hitting him rapidly, even though Soldier had no idea what he looked

like, but he knew that Pyro was scared. Just like the others, just like HIM. Soldier felt a tear roll down his fatigued cheek as he knew that this would be the last time he'd see his fellow colleagues. The last time he'd ever fight or kill.

Soldier grabbed a grenade from his chest and tucked it in his pocket, he then ran to Scout. He was in bad shape.

"Hold on, son. I'm getting you out of here!" Soldier yelled through the sound of gunfire.

"I-I ain't gonna make it..." Scout stuttered.

Soldier felt his eyes sting, "No, boy! You are!" He looked up and saw Medic trying to help Heavy.

"T-Tell my ma'... I love her..." Scout choked as his eyes fluttered shut.

"NO! Dammit!" Soldier screamed, he grabbed Scout's now dead body and carried it to the base. After he did so, Soldier ran to Medic.

"Medic!" He shouted as ran to the doctor. Medic looked up, his eyes projecting fear.

"I'm sorry, Soldier! But my MediGun is COMPLETELY destroyed! Heavy is losing blood and I require concentration!" Medic replied.

"I don't need help! I'm TRYING to help!" Soldier responded, Medic looked down to Heavy. His breathing became irregular and he leaned in to Medic as he muttered his final words,

"You are great doctor..." Heavy then went limp, his eyes rolled up. Medic began to cry as his comrade, his FRIEND had died.

Suddenly Medic grew angry, "YOU BLU SHWEINHUNDES! DIE!" He yelled as he ran out of cover and sprayed his Syringe Gun, killing many in the progress. His outburst quickly ceased as a bullet went straight through his skull.

Soldier shook his head mournfully as he saluted his dead corpse, "You were a good Medic."

He then ran out and shot rapidly at the enemy with his Rocket Launcher, killing a BLU Heavy and a BLU Scout. Soon most of the BLU team were chasing him, Soldier knew what he had to do.

He then made his way to the Armoury, where many explosive devices waited for action. Soldier turned around to see at least 20 BLU enemies surrounding him. He smiled, this was it.

"C'mere cupcake..." Soldier taunted as

he pulled the pin from his grenade. He then charged at the BLU team.

An explosion riveted throughout the land, Soldier had died.


	2. Shovel Smack!

All Soldier could see was black, it was like he was nothing. And everything else was nothing, a void of complete emptiness. He tried to speak, but no words came out. He attempted moving, but he was completely paralysed all over. Eventually he gave up and began reminiscing the previous events prior to his death.

Administator had gotten bored of the same old battle and had decided to mix things up, she had gotten rid of RED team's respawning systems and had given BLU team 50+ Soldier's. Soldier gritted his teeth at the thought of that old hag, she killed his only colleagues, his FRIENDS!

"Soldier." A loud voice called out, making Soldier jump.

"Wh-who's there? Show yourself!" Soldier demanded, now realising he could talk.

The voice chuckled warmly, "I am... As you humans put it, God. I have overseen the carnage created by that evil Administator. After you sacrificed yourself for your comrades, respawning switched back on. So Heavy, Medic and Scout are fine." He explained, "But you, however. You were not so lucky."

Soldier's face contrasted sadness, "So... They don't have me there?" He asked. He couldn't imagine how they'd last without a full team.

"Well... No. But the fighting has stopped, after witnessing such saddening conflict the BLU team refused to fight." God explained to him.

Soldier smiled, "So that's it? They don't have to fight anymore?" He asked. He felt a nod a yelled, "YAHOO!"

Another chuckled escaped God, "We must now face another matter; What to do with you..."

"I imagine i'll be going to hell?" Soldier inquired.

"There's such thing as hell! I only made that up to make people be nice." God continued, "You'll be going where you're needed."

And with that, everything went white. So white that Soldier's helmet wasn't enough to shield it out. Suddenly he passed out.

2 days ago, 3:33am

Meanwhile in Ponyville, a party for the defeating of Nightmare Moon was being held. The party was made by a pink bubbly pony named Pinkie Pie, who was busy bouncing around her friends. Who went by the Elements of Harmony.

Rainbow Dash was a cyan

pegasus with a rainbow coloured mane and tail. She had wine coloured eyes and was the Element of Loyalty. Pinkie Pie was a pink earth pony with a pink mane and tail. She had turquoise coloured eyes and was the Element of Laughter. AppleJack was an orange earth pony with a blonde mane and tail. She had green coloured eyes and was the Element of Honesty. Twilight Sparkle was a lavender unicorn with a dark purple mane and tail. She had purple coloured eyes and was the Element of Magic. Rarity was a white unicorn with a royal purple mane and tail. She had azure blue coloured eyes and was the Element of Generosity. Fluttershy was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and tail. She had cyan coloured eyes and was the Element of Kindness.

"Hows the party? Do ya like it? Huh? Do ya?" Pinkie's questions bombarded upon the other five.

"It's rad!" Exclaimed Rainbow Dash as she did a twirl in the air to exaggerate her opinion. Pinkie's grin grew ever wider due to the appraisal from the cyan pegasus.

As soon as they went to socialise, a white flash erupted from a hill overhead. Nopony seemed to register this natural phenomena, nopony except Rainbow Dash. Her senses were the sharpest in Ponyville and she acknowledged it immediately.

Being her arrogant self, Rainbow Dash left the party to investigate this abnormal occurrence. As she left, she realised that what ever this thing was, laying on the green field; was BIG. At least two and a half times bigger than her. It made her somewhat anxious, but her trademark ignorance forced her to proceed in discovering this large mass.

Yesterday, 2:02pm

After about 50 seconds, Rainbow Dash landed gently on the green grass. She cautiously trotted up to the strange thing and examined it, whatever it was, it was perfectly straight liking a statue.

"What the hay is this thing?" Rainbow Dash asked herself as she prodded it with her hoof. It suddenly loosened up and turned to the side, muttering incoherent dialect.

"Uh, hello?" She called to it, causing it to roll to face her way.

"Ugh, that Spy ain't on our side!" It yelled with a scary voice.

Rainbow Dash backed up slightly, "I'm not a Spy!" She told the sleeping creature.

"Defend this point!" He shouted (It sounded like one) whilst pointing a finger in the air, he continued, "This is war and I LOVE IT!"

Rainbow Dash was confused, but stepped forward. "Uh, can you hear me?" She prodded him again, causing him to lay on his back. But no answer, so she prodded him once more.

"Dominated, Frenchie!" He announced, still asleep.

"I'll give you the count of three to get up!" She exclaimed.

"One!"

She positioned her hooves over his chest, and dropped.

Soldier awoke to a weight on his chest, as he opened his eyes he saw... A cyan winged horse was stood on top of him!

"Demon!" Soldier yelled as he shoved Rainbow Dash off of him. Causing her to yelp in surprise. Soldier took this as an advantage and grabbed his Rocket Launcher (Yeah I know the Black Box is better) and pointed it at her.

Rainbow Dash glared at him, "Hey! Who do you think you're pushin', huh?" She demanded as she got into a battle stance. If she could see under Soldier's helmet, she'd see how wide they were.

He quickly regained his posture, "You keep your mouth SHUT, maggot! I'm asking the questions here, not you!" He exclaimed in his typical army voice.

"No, I'M asking the questions here!" Rainbow Dash snapped.

"No, me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"ME!"

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

"YOU ARE ASKING THE QUESTIONS!" Soldier yelled.

"NO! YOU ASK!" Rainbow Dash yelled back.

Soldier smirked, his idea worked (I'm a poet, and I didn't know it!), "Okay then!"

Rainbow Dash immediately realised what she did and sighed, "Go on..."

"Where am I?" Soldier asked.

Rainbow Dash gave him an 'are you kidding' look, "Ponyville."

"Oh, that helps!" Soldier retorted sarcastically.

"You're in Equestria, in the town of Ponyville. How's that?" Rainbow Dash explained to the mercenary.

"That's better! Now, how in Saxton Hale's name are you SPEAKING!" Soldier inquired.

"I'm a pony, duh!" Rainbow Dash replied.

Soldier wasn't happy, "Well-"

"RAINBOW DASH! GET AWAY FROM IT!" A southern voice yelled. Soldier and Rainbow Dash turned to see an orange pony, AppleJack.

"AppleJack! What're you doing here?" A surprised Rainbow Dash asked.

"Savin' your flank from this monster!" AppleJack responded.

Soldier cut in, "What? Monster! Where!" He said as he dropped his Rocket Launcher and picked up his shovel.

AppleJack looked in confusion as Soldier failed to realise that HE was the accused monster.

"Come at me! Show yourself! Coward!" Soldier taunted as he looked around with his helmet covered eyes. How he could see was a mystery.

"Uh, I mean't YOU were the monster..." AppleJack told Soldier, to which he grew an expression which looked like confusion and anger.

"What! Do I LOOK like a Spy to you? Those back stabbing monsters are certain to be here!" Soldier rambled as he flailed his shovel this way and that.

Rainbow Dash scooted closer to AppleJack and whispered, "I'll sort this guy out." And with that, she flew behind him. Bad move.

Just like when Spies attempted to back stab him whilst he captured points, he swung his shovel around, knocking Rainbow Dash out.

"RAINBOW!" AppleJack cried.

"Woops..."

END OF CHAPTER 2

(A/N - Thank you to those who have reviewed! Keep them coming please! And LeSpy, feel free to make something similar!)

Until next time, do svidaniya!


	3. Meeting Black March

"WHY DID YA DO THAT!" AppleJack almost screamed with the rage in her.

Soldier turned to her, "What? That maggot snuck up on me! Like a Spy..." He told AppleJack as he walked up to the now unconscious Rainbow Dash.

"What're you doin' now! Leave her alone!" AppleJack demanded as she took a threatening step forward.

"I'm taking her back to your town," Soldier explained with a much calmer tone, "The little maggot couldn't take a simple hit with a shovel!" He began laughing.

"You smacked her across the FACE with it! Of course she's gonna be out cold!" AppleJack took Rainbow Dash from his arms, "I'LL take her back! You better jus' scram!"

Soldier just stood there with a blank expression on his face, until it lit up in pure happiness.

"ROCKET JUMP!" He exclaimed whilst collecting his things and aimed his Rocket Launcher downwards and fired. Immediately he flew up into the air and did twirls.

Twilight was looking through her telescope, observing what had just happened: Rainbow Dash woke a huge bipedal creature up, it shoved her off, they began arguing, AppleJack arrived, the thing started acting up and knocked out Rainbow Dash. Twilight just wrote it all down and proceeded in finding AppleJack.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rainbow Dash woke up with an aching head, she was looking at a ceiling and the scent apples were present. Yep, she was at AppleJack's.

With a groan, Rainbow Dash sat upright. Pain in her head started drifting away as she eyed the plate of apples in front of her. She quickly ate the food and with a satisfied sigh, lay down. She still wondered what that thing was, it must've been strong if it had knocked HER out. It must've been luck.

"Yeah, luck." Rainbow Dash agreed to herself.

Meanwhile, Soldier had given up with Rocket Jumping and was now resting against a tree. He hummed a war march to himself as he fiddled with his Battalion's Buff. He hadn't hurt anyone so it would be pointless using it.

"Ugh..." Soldier moaned, "What to do... What to do..." He muttered as he stood up. He thought about fighting one of those ponies but it was pointless. Before he could think of some other gruesome image a black pony waltzed into his peripheral vision. Instead of attacking it, he just sat back down.

The pony that had appeared on the scene was quite a sight; black coat, white mane with black stripes, eyes are black, cutie mark a sword with a pony skull next to it along with a shield and his name was Black March. He was walking back to Ponyville when he noticed a large figure slumped against a tree.

"Woah... What the hay IS that? Is it dangerous?" Black March thought to himself, quickly realising he was jumping to conclusions like most ponies would, he walked up to the red-clothed being.

"Uh, hello?" Black March called out as he approached Soldier.

Soldier looked up to see that the black pony was advancing towards him! His unreliable instinct told him that it was going to attack him, causing him to stand up straight, shovel in hand. He glared menacingly at the black pony, who returned a more curious than threatening look.

"Uh, hello?" It called out to him. Soldier raised his shovel higher.

"Don't you 'hello' me, cupcake! I'm onto your tricks! Just like the Nazi's in '45! I may not have been admitted into the army, but that doesn't mean I wont kick your black behind all the way back to the hole you crept out of!" Soldier yelled as he flashed a detrimental grin.

Right now, any other pony would have ran away screaming, but not Black March. He saw past threats to find why they would act in such a way.

"Are you alright? You seem..." Black March tapped his chin in thought, "...Agitated."

Soldier sighed, giving up. "Yeah, well you'd be pretty ticked off too if you were taken away from something you love!"

Black March questioned, "And what was that?"

Soldier grinned menacingly at the thought, "War."

Black March jumped back in shock. War? That had never happened in Equestria and the word was almost unknown to most dictionaries! "War? You've participated in," He gulped, "War?"

Soldier nodded, "And now i'm stuck in THIS hellhole! No war, no blood and NO DAMN HATS!" Soldier exclaimed, he loved wearing new hats.

Instead of questioning further, Black March decided to drop it. "So... Has anypony seen you?"

"Well, there was a rainbow haired one. Looked kinda gay, acted like Scout. And then there was an orange one who sounded like Engineer."

Soldier shook his head furiously, "That's besides the point, who are you!" He demanded.

Black March straightened slightly, "I am Black March, and you might be?"

"Soldier." The RED mercenary replied.

"Uh... That sounds like more of a title than a name." Black March stated.

"Well, of COURSE it does! If The Administrator heard me say my real name, I'd have to kiss my job goodbye!" Soldier explained. Black March still looked confused.

He shrugged it off, "Well, how about I take you to Ponyville?"

Soldier rubbed his chin, "Hmm... I guess, but if any of those maggots try anything, they're gettin' a shovel to the face!" He proclaimed.

"I'll be sure that doesn't happen..." Black March assured Soldier as he turned around, "C'mon, let's go!"

(A/N): Thank you all for the reviews! And yes, Nevarius. I will be doing a few "Clop" chapters. Please continue to review everypony!

Until next time, do svidanya!


	4. At The Bar

As Black March and Soldier walked through Ponyville, ponies began to scatter and flee to nearby buildings. Instead of being sympathetic or even guilty, Soldier just laughed. What began as a gentle snicker transformed quickly to a deep, hearty laugh and soon he was on the floor, rolling around like he was on fire or something.

Black March turned to see, "What's so funny?" He asked.

Between laughs, Soldier replied, "Those maggots ran away from me... Like COWARDS!" And he began another laughing fit.

Black March frowned, "I don't understand how that's funny." He shrugged it off and continued to advance to wherever. Soldier soon followed.

After a while, Soldier tried small talk, "So, what do you maggots do fo-"

He was cut off by a white flash, and there suddenly... stood Princess Celestia. Black March immediately bowed but Soldier was concentrating on the two guards glaring at him.

"Guards! Seize that beast!" Princess Celestia commanded. The two white guards immediately complied and charged.

Apr 28thSoldier quickly brought out his Rocket Launcher and fired, sending the two white guards backwards at 24mph. They crashed into a building, unconscious. Soldier then stood straight and used his fingers to make an 'L' sign.

"MAGGOTS!" Soldier taunted as he aimed his Rocket Launcher at the Princess and-

"WAAAAIIIIT!" Black March yelled as he jumped in front of Soldier. The RED mercenary released his embrace of the trigger and shot a confused look at Black March.

"What are doing! You can't hurt the Princess!" Black March exclaimed at Soldier.

Soldier looked even more confused now, "What! That maggot used her horse slaves to attack me! If anything, I should kill her!" A sudden smirk raised from Soldier's lips, "Yeah... I've never killed a monarch!"

Before Soldier could do anything stupid, Black March muttered 'Forgive me' and bucked him in his head. Soldier immediately dropped to the floor.

Princess Celestia had watched with a small frown. Her Royal Guards had been knocked clean out with some long, metallic tube and threatened to kill her. 'This creature would make a good guard...' Celestia thought as she observed him get knocked out by Ponyville's guardian, Black March. '...Or maybe not.'

After her little observations, Princess Celestia stepped forward. "Good job, my little pony. You once again saved this town."

Black March curtsied, "My pleasure, Princess."

"Now it's been knocked unconscious, I should take it to my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. She'll want to study this." She explained as she circled the unconscious creature. Little did she know that he was awake.

'Study me, eh? Hook me up to see what makes me tick will they? I'll see Scout get laid before anything like THAT happens!' Soldier thought as he pretended to act unconscious. Suddenly an odd feeling erupted through him, following with the sound of struggle.

As Princess Celestia attempted to lift up Soldier with her God like magic, it seemed impossible. Could this thing be gifted with invulnerability to magic?

"*Grunt* He seems to be *Grunt* immune to my magic!" Princess Celestia exclaimed as she gave up.

Apr 28thBlack March spoke up, "Your majesty, I'll carry him there. It's no trouble..."

"Really? Thank you. I have to attend Royal duties, anyway." Celestia explained as she teleported away.

Black March then turned to the Soldier, "Right... Let's get you to Twilight's-"

"I think not, MAGGOT!" Soldier yelled as he swung his shovel across Black March's face, effectively knocking the fiddlesticks out of him. "You traitor!" He said as he strolled off. The guard had long since fled and Soldier was now left with nothing to do...

"Dammit! Now what!" Soldier asked aloud as he tooted a small tune with his Battalion's Buff. Suddenly a bar caught his eye; it was named "The Watering Hole" and had a 13th century look to it.

"Hmm... This'll be good..." Soldier muttered to himself as he observed the wooden construction.

As Soldier entered the rather average sized drinking facility, his nostrils were entangled in the scent of disappointment and shame. Yep, this was a bar. But before he could pass through the door, a rather large pony stopped in front of him.

Soldier quickly became irritated, "And just what do YOU want, maggot!" He demanded. The Soldier was not used to being confronted, unless Demoman was drunk, which he always was.

"No harmful weapons allowed, sir. Whatever you are…" The gruff bouncer explained as he pointed to a sign specifically saying so.

"I am Soldier, maggot and I AM ENTERING THIS BAR!" Soldier exclaimed as he shoved the pony out of his path.

As he made his way through the bar, he was greeted with the sight of traditional English 'Pub'. There were wooden chairs, wooden tables, and even wooden wood!

Soldier inhaled, preparing to yell... Again. "LISTEN UP, BARTENDER MAGGOT! I DEMAND A BOTTLE OF YOUR FINEST ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, POST HASTE!"

His booming announcement had just about caused all the residing ponies to flee in terror, if his towering stature had not accomplished that in the first place.

After a few merrily awkward minutes, a moustache wielding bartender shakily spoke, "R-Right away, s-sir!" And suddenly he dashed towards the door, presumably a cellar of sorts. He then quickly returned with a bottle, inscripted with a language he was not familiar with.

"And just what is _THIS_, maggot! I wanted a cold, American beverage! Not some warm crap like Demoman's scrumpy!" Soldier exclaimed. The bartender shrunk down even further.

"S-Sir, i-it's alcohol! You wanted alcohol!" He squeaked. Soldier sighed deeply.

"Confound you ponies, you drive me to drink!"

**(A/N): Hey guys! Thank you for reading this chapter! I am now accepting OC's, so if you want your pony-sona to be entered into this story, let me know!**

**Until next time, do svidanya!**


	5. Pinkie Pie!

**Welcome back loyal readers! I currently have 3 OC's in my story, and I can still fit another 4. I need a character that resembles Soldier to stick with him for a bit of it and a few side characters. Because one simply cannot have too many OC's. Without further adieu, please enjoy this next chapter!**

After his recent upset in the bar, Soldier had decided to check out somewhere to eat. He hadn't eaten in quite a while and the last thing he had was Heavy's Buffalo Steak Sandvich. The strange thing was though, every time Soldier tried to communicate with a pony, they would run away screaming. Soldier would admit he was slightly socially awkward but _come __**on**_. After a while of talking and running away, he gave a mighty sigh and seated his hindquarters on the grassy floor.

"Stupid ponies, stupid grass, stupid Spy!" Soldier whined to himself as he observed the looks he was getting. One of which belonged to a pink pony. Who was possibly the weirdest thing he's ever seen. After a furious battle of wits and staring, the pony bounced up to him.

"Hi!" The pink pony announced.

"Uh… Hi?" Soldier replied. He was quite unsure about her, this is the first pony to happily wander up to him and say hi.

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" She declared.

Soldier looked bedazzled, how in Saxton's fists could some evil parents name a miniature candy coloured horse 'Pinkie Pie'? It was a crime against nature! But, Soldier didn't want to say this, for he finally had a chance to make a friend.

"Uh… I'm Soldier… Pleased to meet you?" Soldier once again spoke nervously. This Pinkie Pie character seemed to be awfully cheerful. Perhaps she was a sufferer to ADD… He should ask that later.

"Soldier? That's a weird name! But then if your name is Soldier then you must fight and fighting is bad so you must feel sad and if you feel sad I must throw you a PARTY!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed in one breath.

A smile came about Soldier's lips, "A party, eh? That sounds like a _brilliant_ idea!" Soldier then picked up the pony and wandered off. "So! How shall we plan this box social?"

**Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle…**

Princess Celestia had arrived back at her throne room, the creature she saw get knocked out was still on her mind. What was it? What was it holding that could've blown back two Royal Guards? What's for dinner? All these thoughts rushed through her head as she paced back and forth in her room.

"It seemed very dangerous; perhaps I shouldn't have left Black March on his own… What if he awakes? My oh my, I really should think these things through!" Princess Celestia thought as she continued her pacing across the floor.

After a short while of thinking, a tired looking Princess Luna came through the door, the bags in her eyes resembled her fatigue, and she had a look of irritation on her face.

"Tia, what is keeping you from staying still? You've been pacing for hours! Is there something wrong?" Luna inquired with a look of concern showing on her face.

Princess Celestia looked up at her sister, "I guess I'm nervous about that new creature… I mean, how such a thing could simply arrive here with no magic is beyond me! It's like all those bronies I had to send back home…"

"Oh… So that thing _did_ make it through, huh?" Luna quickly realised that she had though aloud and shut her mouth.

"Wait, _you_ sent it here? Why would you do such a thing?" Princess Celestia asked her sister of the night.

Luna sighed, "Well, Tia. I may as well explain why I brought him here…"

**Somewhere in a tree…**

Soldier and Pinkie Pie were planning the_ 'Stars and stripes beats hammer and sickle' _party in a tree, there was going to be balloons, party poppers, food, drink, games and confetti! Yes, my friends they were planning something big.

"And then, when they think the excitement is over… A WILD GODZILLA SHALL APPEAR!" Soldier explained his cunning party plan to Pinkie Pie, who was writing all the notes down, "So, we shall require 3 bags of sugar, a piece of paper and 17 ounces of TNT!"

Pinkie had her doubts, "That's a good idea and all, but where will we find enough boxes?"

"Beep boop son, beep boop." Soldier replied with a hint of seriousness in his voice. Pinkie Pie looked confused for a second, but shook it off and wrote it down.

Pinkie Pie's smile grew wider than it currently had been, "Now all we need, are guests!"

**(A/N): Well, looks like Soldier and Pinkie Pie are getting along rather well! If you aren't lazy you have reached this part of the authors notes, I have a question.**

**Who should I add to the story?**

**Scout**

**Pyro**

**Demoman**

**Heavy**

**Engineer**

**Medic**

**Sniper**

**Spy**

**Or a Human OC (To which I would hold a contest) Please submit a vote, as I need another member of RED team or a Human OC to enter this, please leave a review!**


	6. Greetings, Dark Sky

**Welcome to the newest chapter of Soldier's Last Stand! After much voting via reviews and PM's, I must announce that the Team Fortress 2 character that shall be joining Soldier is… SCOUT! I am looking forward to placing him in very soon. But for now, I am putting in **_**OmegaDelta's**_** OC to this chapter. Please, PLEASE enjoy this chapter! **

**Back in , Luna's bedroom…**

"So lets me get this correct, sister," Princess Celestia started, "You didn't send him here, but a higher being than the two of us called God did, because he had passed away giving his life for a team called RED. Am I correct in saying that?" Celestia asked.

Luna nodded "That you are; now he is here to defend this place." She explained. Princess Celestia looked up.

"Wow, I'm quite astonished at this. I tried to capture him before like some… _Beast. _But it turns out that he was a hero…" The Princess of the Sun stated. A tinge of guilt passed over her. If anything, she was the beast for acting without thinking it through. '_I should speak to this Soldier person…_' She thought.

**In Ponyville…**

Soldier had agreed to allow Pinkie Pie to bring her friends to the party, so long as they didn't act hostile towards him. So all in all, things were looking up for him. He strolled around a dirt path, fiddling with his grenades. Just looking at them made him remember what happened before his death at Tuefort. He didn't want to dwell on it, but the fact that his friends had died at the hands of the administrator's boredom sickened him to the core.

"I swear on my death bed that I am going to kill that wrinkly maggot!" Soldier declared to himself as he stopped. As he stopped, he noticed how tired he was. He wasn't as young as he used to be and he had walked for ten miles without a break. Realising this, he collapsed to the ground. His aching legs were trying their hardest to recover.

Soldier had been lay down on the path for a few moments until a weight came upon his stomach, suddenly that weight quickly retracted and Soldier became aware of a presence next to him.

"What in Celestia's name is this?" A young, male voice asked to thin air. Soldier's covered eyes hardened to a glare as he felt around for his shovel. He gained a smile as his hand brushed across the wooden grip and he tightened his hand around it, preparing to shovel smack the fiddlesticks out of the pony.

"Uh, hello? Are you okay? You're not moving… So you probably aren't." The same voice called out again. Soldier suddenly decided against shovel smacking him, and decided to communicate like a human being would. Well, he was close.

"YOU DO NOT DARE TOUCH ME, MAGGOT!" Soldier yelled as he stood full height, scaring the unnecessary vulgar language out of the pony. This pony in particular had been a lot bigger than the others, and was stood to his chest. He had dark blue fur, with a slightly spiked mane that was crimson red. That was Soldier's favourite colour.

"O-Oh… Sorry, s-sir…" The pony quivered. Soldier sighed. Why are these ponies such cowards? They all shook under his presence! Not even Scout was like this, except the BLU Scout… Little shit head…

"Can you ponies stop being so damn afraid of me! Whose mother must I fellate before you lot stop running away from me!" Soldier demanded. This only caused the pony to back away slightly further. The RED mercenary decided to take a softer approach and kneeled down to his level.

Soldier sighed… Again. "Look, I know I may seem like some big mean Mother Hubbard (Thanks, Engy!) but I'm actually just a loud, socially awkward guy. So, if you are willing to give me a chance," He reached out his arm, "Perhaps we could start again?"

The pony was completely taken aback by Soldier's approach. First he was all angry and yelling, now he's all kind and caring. But no pony ever denied a friend so he gained a smile and shook Soldier's hand.

"Sorry for being all afraid, but you are huge." The pony laughed, "Anyway, my name's Dark Sky, what's yours?"

Soldier gained a small smile, "My name is The Soldier, but you can call me… Screw that just call me Soldier."

Dark Sky chuckled, "Well, glad to meet you Soldier, I hope we can be friends!"

"Yeah… I'd like that."

**Back in Tuefort…**

Engineer looked over the horizon, Respawn had switched back on at the last second. Unfortunately, Soldier was too late, and did not respawn. The entire team was mourning their loss; a new Soldier was arriving tomorrow morning. But until then, all they could do was remember John Doe. The toughest man in Mann Co.

Scout was walking across the halls until he reached Soldier's room. Sure enough, there were war posters and weapons scattered across his room. A tear threatened to make its way out of Scout's eye, but Soldier wouldn't want that, would he?

"I'll be sure to commemorate every kill to you, Solly." Scout muttered as he saluted a picture of the team. Suddenly everything went black.

**(A/N): Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but I need to ask a favour from you all. I have created a new story; look on my profile to see it. There are barely any reviews on there (Though I would like to thank wolfgirl for giving me brilliant feedback) and I really could do with more. It is a HiE fan fiction, but I am aiming to make it as original as possible. Thanks and please review.**


	7. Scout's Arrival

**OMFG I AM TERRIBLY SORRY! My Microsoft Office has decided to be a twat to me and removed itself rather rudely from my hard drive. So I found WordPad (I love you WP) and I can thankfully continue! (If anyone cares about these anymore...)**

Scout felt like he was falling through a void, he probably was. He wanted to shout or yell for help, or for a dispenser, but nothing came. It was like Sleep Paralysis, he was aware of everything, but he was more scared than that time Sniper found him driving his van. Boy, that was quite a ceasefire. Anyway, Scout's thoughts were interrupted by a hissing sound, unable to move he began panicking and soon broke out in a cold sweat. His eyes shifted one way and another in an attempt to find the source of the sound, but to no avail.

After 3 minutes, they hissing faded away and Scout was once again enveloped in darkness. It was relatively cold and he felt like that time Spy had shoved-

*SPLASH*

"Augh! The fuck, man?!" Scout almost yelled, drenched in what he presumed was water and hopefully not Jarate. Damn, Snipes was weird.

"Where the heck am I?" He asked to no one in particular. Looking around he appeared to be in a small, shallow lake. A few ducks swam past him... Wait... Ducks? "Dude, I though that was a fricken' nightmare! Where the hell did ducks suddenly get involved?"

Quack.

Feeling threatened by the duck, he grew hostile "What're you lookin' at, chump?" he asked the duck with a hint of venom present in his voice.

Quack.

"What? How did you know that?!"

Quack.

"Now that is crossin' da line, bozo! You're gettin' it now!" Scout declared as he leaped for the offending animal. He missed and got even more drenched. He leaped for him again, missed. And again, and again. Eventually Scout gave up.

"Stupid duck..." Scout muttered.

**In Celestia's Room...**

Luna had made her way back to her room as Celestia got herself prepared for the trip back to Ponyville.

'_I should apologise, no Princess should act so barbaric! I am truly disappointed in myself..._' The Princess of the Sun thought depressedly to herself as she charged her teleportation spell. And as soon as that happened, she disappeared.

**In some... Woods... Or something...**

After many minutes of walking, Scout had grown bored. So bored, that he almost regretted not taking Engineer's advice and keeping a short story handy with him for these occasions. _Almost._

"I swear to God if I spend any more time in 'dis forest I am gonna shoot myself," He said to himself. "Heck, i'll respawn back to the base anyway..." He then stopped, and went into his rucksack. He brought out a pistol and stared at it.

"I wish I could shoot somethin'." He said as he began to run out of sheer desperation.

**Sweet Apple Acres...**

Rainbow Dash said her thanks to the Apple family and made her way out of the orchard. She had sprained her wing after that incident with that large Red person.

"I gotta admit, he was pretty strong..." She muttered to herself as she trotted through the beaten dirt path. She began humming some generic theme but stopped as she hoofsteps. Very fast ones, too. Her ears pricked to the direction of the sound and she turned to see another Red thing, but more slimmer. And it was running _incredibly _fast. Faster than she could gallop herself.

"Hey!" She called to it. It stopped abruptly and turned to see her. The Red clothed thing turned to her.

**And there is FINALLY another chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it. Please leave a review! :D**


	8. Box!

"It's another one..." Rainbow Dash said aloud. The young looking creature gave a face of fear and confusion. They stared at each other for a while, not even daring to blink. That was, until the creature began to speak.

"What're you lookin' at?" It said with some clear arrogance present. Had it seen a pony before? Because he was very calm, unlike that _other_ one; who knocked her out cold.

'_I should be careful, if the other one was able to knock me out in one hit, who knows what this one could do!_' Rainbow Dash thought to herself.

"Um..." She started, "...Hi?" Clearly her social skills were failing her.

"What's the matter, you freakin' stupid?" The creature asked, with that same tone. Whoever this thing was, it clearly was not friendly.

Rainbow grew angry, what had she done wrong? "Hey! Who do you think you're talking to, huh? It's not polite to call other stupid, didn't you know that?"

The creature grew a smirk, "Yo red eyes, take your preachin' somewhere else, I'm lookin' for 2fort."

Rainbow just stared at him, his voice was clearly showing that he was male. This thing was possibly the most rudest excuse of a being, even more than Gilda! That was surprising.

"I think I messed your brains up, fag. I said," He spoke slowly as if talking to a child, "I. Am. Looking. For. Two. Fort. Geddit?"

Rainbow couldn't take the insults anymore, her eyes welled up with tears and she dashed away from him. Scout gained another smirk and ran off to somewhere else, possibly looking to shout for a dispenser.

**Somewhere in the Ponyville Outskirts...**

Soldier had departed with Dark Sky, his latest comrade. Because bad ass Soldier's don't need friends, only allies. Unless they are French... Damn French... Anyway, Soldier was now waltzing through a beaten dirt path, whistling a tune he forgot the name of. Things were starting to look up for him, hopefully he could return to 2fort and join his _real _allies in war against Builders League United, or BLU.

As soon as Soldier had made it to Ponyville, he noticed something on the ground that didn't belong there.

It was a box. Soldier's eye twitched.

It was a large, cardboard box. Large enough to fit him. A smile began to take over his jaw muscles.

"BOX!" He declared as he jumped straight into it, but not before closing the lid.

**Sugarcube Corner...**

Pinkie Pie was hiding under a table, along with Twilight, who was excited to learn new things, as always. There was also AppleJack, who was yearning to have a hoof wrestle with him. Rarity was there just for the fact there was a party and was paying no mind to the fact that there was a new species here. Fluttershy didn't want to be here, but she didn't want to let her friends down. Rainbow Dash was sniffling, after telling the six filly's about a similar creature hurtfully insulting her, but was strong enough not to cry again.

"Come on, come on!" Pinkie exclaimed. He promised to meet up at precisely 4:00pm! It was now 4:01!

"I'm sure he will arrive soon, Pinkie." Twilight reassured the pink psycho.

"He is taking too long, though! Im gonna go try to find him!" Pinkie announced as she made her way to the door and outside.

Pinkie looked around, searching for the large being. But there was nothing. However, there was a crowd surrounding something that was blocked off by the crowd itself. So Pinkie Pie decided to check it out.

After reaching the require destination, what she saw made here eyes widen. It was Soldier, fighting off intruders to his box.

He growled, saying "This is my box, you are not welcome in my box!"

Pinkie gained a small smile, but there was no time to laugh now. She had to find a way to lure him to SugarCube corner! First she thought of peices of candy, but that box seemed more important than anything to him. Perhaps _more_ boxes would do the trick!

**4 minutes later...**

Pinkie had set up all the boxes, with a grand total of 8. She rubbed her hooves together sinisterly, like a evil villain off some crappy movie in the 1960's.

**Back in the box fort...**

Soldier glared at the crowd of ponies, daring them to enter his beloved box. This is why Soldier loved Mann Co crates so much, he could keep the box. All that was visible of Soldier was above his nose, and his arm that was swinging wildly to prevent box intruders.

"Stay away, heathens! This is MY box!" He commanded, but it seemed that the box he was in was important. And they kept trying to get it.

Suddenly Soldier sniffed the air... There were _more_ boxes! Even better than this! With a heroic leap, Soldier dived for the nearest box, then the next, and the next, and the next, until he had reached the final one, inside a dark house.

Suddenly the lights came on..

"SUPRISE!"

**There we go! A slightly longer chapter... I think. Anyway, please leave a review! :D**


	9. Parties and Dentists

**I would be apologising for the lateness of the chapter, but apparently those who get writer's block are not real writers...**

**...So yeah... Not very motivational. Anyway, enjoy I suppose...**

Soldier rose from his box with a keen eye, in case anyone else was to steal his new cuboid home, being surprised with balloons and confetti wasn't bad enough, but they were _approaching _him! The quadrapedic bastards wanted his box!

"Stay away from my box!" He flailed his arms around, "It is mine!"

A purple pony raised an invisible eyebrow, "Uh, we aren't trying to take your box, sir..."

Pinkie Pie, easily recognisable to Soldier, interrupted. "Yeah! We wanted to throw you that party we organised! There's balloons..."

"Oval shaped sacks of unamerican air," Soldier interrupted.

"...Cake..."

"Sweet, but too sweet for a man to have!"

"...Games..."

"If it involves cards or weapons you've got me."

"...More boxes..."

"BOX!" Soldier announced triumphantly, clearly showing his enthusiastic affection for the carboard containers.

"Yeah, we knew you'd like them!" Pinkie exclaimed with a smile, happy to see Soldier happy.

Soldier then leapt from the box, and slid across the floor impossibly and made his way to the six ponies. He had a crazed smile on his face.

"Now then, before we participate in this BOX social, may I take names?" Soldier inquired to the six.

"I am Twilight Sparkle," The purple one said whilst closing her eyes and holding an appendage to her chest, "The faithful student to Princess Celestia."

"Smug bastard..." Soldier muttered to himself.

"Ah'm AppleJack, you saw me when you... Well y'know... To Rainbow over here." The orange one said.

Soldier eyes lit up, "Oh yeah!"

"I'm Pinkie Pie! But you already know that!" The pink one exclaimed with an incredibly high pitched voice.

"Indeed I do, son... Indeed I do..." Soldier replied.

"I'm Rarity dear, but I must ask, where did you get those clothes?" The marshmallow inquired to the mercenary.

"I recieved it in the army, it was originally green, but well..." Soldier smirked, "...War is war... And I got a lot of blood on it."

Rarity backed away slightly, "Oh... heh heh heh..."

"I'm... Um... F-Fluttershy..." The butter yellow pony whispered.

"Now that," Soldier pointed at her, "Is adorable."

The last one had an unhappy look on her face, "I hate you."

"Oh look!" Soldier exclaimed, "It's the weak little gay thing I beat up with my little shovel!" He then began laughing incedibly loud. Much to the displeasure of the blue pony.

_**At the Dentists...**_

Scout had always hated the dentist, but he knew his teeth needed checking, and being the manly man he was, he decided to visit them. In all honesty though, he was scared to death. I mean, a guy who gets paid to stab people gums!? What kinda freak does that?

"Next patient please." A young, female voice called out. Scout felt a lot less nervous, because not only was the dentist female, she might be hot, too.

Scout opened the doors to find, he sighed... Another pony... This one was royal blue with a white and blue mane and tail.

"Um... Okay, sir... Please sit down and open your mouth..." She asked.

"'Kay." Scout replied as he spat out his gum into a small bin and seated himself into the small dentist chair. "So, give it to me straight, doc. Am I good?"

The blue pony shrugged off the name 'doc' and got out a mirror, but it seemed her was too big, and had to climb the chair.

"I'm gonna have to rest my hooves on your chest if you want me to check your teeth, you don't mind, do you?" She asked, a tad embarrassed at her small size compared to the being.

"Uh, sure, but watch the dog tags." Scout replied as he opened his mouth. Colgate leaned in and checked his teeth.

"Looks good... A tad worn out there... Is that gold...? Wait..." She looked up at him, "Are those canines?"

"I dont have dogs in my mouth, do I?" Scout then realised how stupid he was, "Oh yeah! The teeth thing... Yeah, miss blue pony, I do. Why?"

"Well... That must mean you eat..." She gulped, "...Meat..."

Scout shrugged, nearly knocking Colgate off balance, "I eat fish... But Mann Co don't allow me to eat it, bad for my health of somethin', don't worry nuttin, I aint gonna eat ya."

"Oh..." Colgate sighed, "...That's okay then. Anyway," She hopped off him, "Your teeth look pretty clean to me, keep it up!"

"Aw sweet!"

**Well, yeah... That writers block thing still has it's grip on me... Please review!**


	10. Old Times

**Greetings Kamarades! Here is the new chapter! May have taken a while, sorry.**

Soldier was now rolling on the floor laughing, which apparently doesn't happen in real life. Pinkie Pie had eventually joined in with the laughter, without any idea _why _he was laughing so hard. This had intensified the blush on Rainbow Dash's face, luckily for her though nobody saw.

Eventually, Soldier had calmed down and was now sat upright, still a margin taller than the ponies. Wiping the manly tears from his eyes, Soldier spoke up.

"So," He began, "What's all this about?" Soldier inquired.

"It's a _party_!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, jumping in front of him.

"A party? You mean like the one we held for Scout when he announced the sighting of his first pubic hair?" Soldier asked. The others cringed, "What?"

"Your species celebrates _that_?" Twilight asked him.

"Well... No. But I wanted to test my super awesome cooking skills and bake the best darn cake you'd ever seen!" He exclaimed raising his fist in the air to punch a balloon that was giving him a right evil look.

"You can _bake_? That's so cool!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she hopped on top of his helmet, hammering on about baking together and something else. Soldier had failed to keep up with her fast paced dialogue and decided to stand upright, so he could evaluate the party.

"Um..." Soldier started, "This party looks at tad... Girly, for my tastes." Soldier said, looking up to the now silent Pinkie.

"Oh." Pinkie said, "Well, what do you like in a party?"

"Well... Heavy usually brings out a large plate of his own Sanviches, those are the best things ever. Scout pours some of his bonk into the punch bowl... Sniper cooks up something nice, and at the end of the day, Engineer will play his guitar... And we'd all share stories about... Home..." Soldier was getting more depressed with each sentence, "And then we would tell a few dirty jokes, compliments to Spy for thinking of the best... Demoman would give us all a bottle of his home made Scrumpy... Man, that was the life..."

The ponies, even Rainbow Dash had began to feel a tad sorry for him, he must have really enjoyed life back in wherever he lived. Pinkie had hopped off his head and stood next to Fluttershy.

**Outside the dentists...**

Scout had now finished his incredibly inspirational trip to the dentists. Feeling like an absolute boss, he began to wonder if the drinking age around here was lower than it was in the United States. But unfortunately for him, there were no places that sold acoholic beverages. Well, not according to him, anyway.

Getting rather bored, Scout decided to visit what appeared to be a house made of pastry, which was titled 'Sugarcube Corner'.

**There we have it, lads. Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews, too! Over 100! :D**


	11. High Fives and Hugs!

**You found a new chapter! And a Mann Co supply crate... Drats..**

**Need a disclaimer here!**

As Scout was entering SugarCube Corner, he caught the scent of something... Something familiar... It was a mix of blood and that new box smell... It was SOLDIER!

"The freakin' Soldier!" Scout yelled as he pointed at his fellow mercenary.

Soldier's head did I 360 spin to face the person who yelled his name, "That Scout!" He yelled in realisation. Soldier then stood up and fully faced him, then raised his hand up solemnly, then Scout slowly approached him. The ponies were hella confused, was Soldier gonna hit Scout? Rainbow Dash certainly hoped so.

"What are you doing?" Rarity inquired. Scout and Soldier quickly looked at her with the most demonic and ungoldy expression that could kill angels, to which Rarity squeaked and covered her eyes.

Scout and Soldier were now only one foot away from each other. Their eyes met, searching into each other's empty souls. Suddenly, without any warning, Scout slapped Soldier's palm and they both punched the air in celebration. This, ladies and mentlegen, was a Mann Co high five.

The ponies (barring Rarity, who was now cowering in fear from the looks she was given, and Rainbow Dash, who wanted to see a fight) were now sighing in relief. They have hoof bumps around here, so witnessing that was not too strange.

"So," Scout started, "How the heck did you get 'ere?" The bostonian inquired.

"I was killed, spoke with God... Yadda yadda yadda, y'know, the usual." Soldier explained.

Scout suddenly without warning, hugged the Soldier, this had caught him off guard, because the last time Scout had ever hugged Soldier was when Soldier was comforting him over the loss of one of his many brothers, poor bastard. So clearly, something was troubling Scout, and Soldier, being the man he was, had to discover the problem. So he returned the hug.

"What's troubling you, boy?" Soldier asked.

"I've missed you, man." Scout's muffled words came from the Soldier's uniform. The RED mercenary was aware of why he was saying that. And hugged tighter (**Awwwww :3**), a collective 'aww' could be heard from the ponies observing the mutual moment.

"Eh, I've missed you too, son. All of you." Soldier responded, suddenly trying to brighten up the situation, "Now then, how about some ice cream, private?!" He yelled in his Army accent.

"Sir, yes sir!" He yelled back, saluting. Then they both dived into the SugarCube corner's kitchen and began the quest for ice-cream.

**Holy cannoli, it's another incredibly short chapter! I dont know what's gotten into me! Well... I am handling many stories at once. But that's besides the point. Anyway, please review, though there isnt much to review.**


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